My journal is very precious to me, because it keeps a lot of my intimate thoughts that I just don't feel like sharing with others, as well as observations that stick out in daily life. When I was younger, I would keep a "Dear Diary" journal with me at all times, and write all my problems in there. Though as I got older, I've just been writing my observations, rather than "tantrum-like" problems such as, "My best friend Kristina told her mom that I didn't like her. I hate Kristina now :(" Hah, thank God I got out of that stage of writing.

Now, I like to keep everything really neat and tidy. Within the past year, I started getting into writing in cursive. Well, having the OCD problem that I do, I started my journal only writing in cursive, and told myself that I can't write in print, no matter how much I wanted to go back to it. I also have one color for the full journal. I buy a few of the same brand/color in pens, and have to have it from the start to the finish of my pages. It keeps my thoughts organized when I do it like that. Usually when I want to go back and read over what I wrote, I know where everything is without having to search for it. 

When I write in a dream I have had, I will write in more of a poem-like style. See, the reason I go back and look at the entries is because I'm actually in the process of writing a book. I've written a bit, but there needs to be a rough outline of events, people, places, things, etc. These dreams always somehow come together to fit into the storyline I've been thinking about. I even surprise myself when I wake up from a dream that perfectly fits with a previous event I was imagining. It's crazy to think that my subconscious is always helping me figure out daily-life struggles. 

Today's dream was a bit on the weird side though. I'm not sure I'm going to use this for the book I'm planning, but it was super creepy. This is actually the second time in two days that I've woken from a nightmare, which is also really weird because I almost never get nightmares. The night before, I dreamt I was in a fire, and barely escaped. The one I had last night involved a scary movie scene. It had a paranormal origin to it. In my mind, I had seen this movie where ghost-like events take place, and everyone in the house gets killed. I was in a house that used to belong to nuns, but only a few were still living. There was a movie that had to be put into the VCR in order for the events to take place. I tried to get rid of the movie, but this evil-looking nun put it in without my knowledge. The scene began to unravel with the scary events that ranged from demons, to three-headed dogs. Almost everyone in the house had died, and it was down to the final four. At that point, I just really wanted to wake up, so I told myself that I had to get out. Though right before I woke up, there was this candle that this nun blew out, but as she blew out the candle, I physically felt the air go into my mouth while I took a breathe out. 

I woke up so creeped out; it was crazy! I refused to go out of my room since it was still dark. I tried to "reboot" my brain into going back to bed and think happy thoughts, but my mind kept going back to that house. So, overall, I got zero sleep, and I am now incredibly tired. I wonder what my subconscious mind was trying to tell me. What do you think?

~Alhana 

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. 

-Edgar Allan Poe