Sunday
7:00 am: Where am I? Wow, then it's definitely not a dream! I am finally in a semi-secluded paradise. What I should eat for breakfast before going down to the pool?
12:00 pm: I wonder what time Taylor is getting into Florida? I need some Arab girl time. Hm, what are we going to do? Maybe I can coerce her into doing something dangerously exciting.
2:00 pm: I think I am starting to get some color to my skin! Tan lines here I come! Oh wait, that's just a bright burn appearing on my alabaster skin. I already reapplied sunscreen 4 times! I knew I should have gotten SPF 90. Curse you Pubix and your understocked section of sunscreen. Who carries more tanning oil than sun protection lotion? Thanks America, for finding yet another way to kill off your citizens one days worth of sun at a time. If I ever get to medical school and survive my residency, I'm going to have to be treating a lot of patients for the melanoma I'm sure they will get…
5:00 pm: I loathe the people that decided to have children and never take care of them. If that child splashes me one more time, I'm going to do everyone a favor by dragging them out by their hair, and returning them to their parents with the best reprimanding speech known to man.
6:00 pm: Bro, I don't think you're supposed to leave your 4-month-old baby outside in this heat for 6 hours. For godsakes, reapply their sunscreen so they don't die! No idiot! Don't put your already burned newborn in the water! Take them inside or something, you irresponsible imbecile. Dear God that child doesn't even have a hat to protect its bald head. I wonder if it would be irrational of me to call child protective services on this lady…
10:00 pm: Finally, my dear Taylor has arrived. Let me catch Krysten's eye so we can go see her. I don't think she wants to go. I wonder why she's giving me a face that screams anger and hostile irritability.
12:00 pm: Taylor's resort is nice, but there sure are a ton of weird people here. Why are 30-something-year-olds hooting and playing ping pong? Haha someone definitely just hooted back--oh gosh, they did it again. I think it's time for these old people to go to bed, or you know, to their kids or something.
1:00 am: Ice cream is not a good idea this late at night. Need. Sleep. Now. "Krysten get up!" Okay, I think it's time to get back to our place. I wonder if I'll have nightmares of those men...
12:00 pm: I wonder what time Taylor is getting into Florida? I need some Arab girl time. Hm, what are we going to do? Maybe I can coerce her into doing something dangerously exciting.
2:00 pm: I think I am starting to get some color to my skin! Tan lines here I come! Oh wait, that's just a bright burn appearing on my alabaster skin. I already reapplied sunscreen 4 times! I knew I should have gotten SPF 90. Curse you Pubix and your understocked section of sunscreen. Who carries more tanning oil than sun protection lotion? Thanks America, for finding yet another way to kill off your citizens one days worth of sun at a time. If I ever get to medical school and survive my residency, I'm going to have to be treating a lot of patients for the melanoma I'm sure they will get…
5:00 pm: I loathe the people that decided to have children and never take care of them. If that child splashes me one more time, I'm going to do everyone a favor by dragging them out by their hair, and returning them to their parents with the best reprimanding speech known to man.
6:00 pm: Bro, I don't think you're supposed to leave your 4-month-old baby outside in this heat for 6 hours. For godsakes, reapply their sunscreen so they don't die! No idiot! Don't put your already burned newborn in the water! Take them inside or something, you irresponsible imbecile. Dear God that child doesn't even have a hat to protect its bald head. I wonder if it would be irrational of me to call child protective services on this lady…
10:00 pm: Finally, my dear Taylor has arrived. Let me catch Krysten's eye so we can go see her. I don't think she wants to go. I wonder why she's giving me a face that screams anger and hostile irritability.
12:00 pm: Taylor's resort is nice, but there sure are a ton of weird people here. Why are 30-something-year-olds hooting and playing ping pong? Haha someone definitely just hooted back--oh gosh, they did it again. I think it's time for these old people to go to bed, or you know, to their kids or something.
1:00 am: Ice cream is not a good idea this late at night. Need. Sleep. Now. "Krysten get up!" Okay, I think it's time to get back to our place. I wonder if I'll have nightmares of those men...
share this on » |
{Facebook} |
{Twitter} |
{Pinterest} |
